Akatsuki Go Busch Gardens!
by MinaTakahashii
Summary: The title says most of it. This is purely crack and some yaoi, so don't like, don't read. Better explanation inside. Updates should come faster...
1. Arrival

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

A/N: Well… This is something I did as a whim. I always entertain my whims, even though they normally suck and I never finish them. So you have to encourage me with reviews to continue the story if you liked it! If you didn't, then well, tell me why!

So there are a few pairings, and my friend may kill me when she discovers I spent my time writing this than writing the other things she wants me to, but oh well. If you like it, then does it matter? But back to the pairings, there is SasoDei (my personal favorite…), KazuHida, KisaIta, and PeinKonan. Poor Tobi gets no one, cause Zetsu stayed home during the trip…

I'm actually in Williamsburg Va. (where Busch Gardens Europe is) so that's probably why I'm writing this. So enough with the long Author's Notes and actually start the story, kay?

"You know, this may actually be fun un." Deidara said from the backseat of the van that seven crapped Akatsuki members were seated in. There was Itachi, Kisame, Tobi, Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara, and Sasori. Kakuzu was driving, not trusting anyone else behind the wheel of his car. (He had spent a lot of money on it.)

"Keep telling yourself that, brat." Sasori said. Deidara stuck three tongues out at him. Even though he and Sasori had gotten together a week ago, they didn't treat each differently.

"Tobi thinks it will be fun too sempai!" Tobi said. Deidara rubbed his left ear. Since Tobi was sitting on his left side, his left ear hurt. A lot. He was also next to Sasori. They were sitting in the back seat of the car with Itachi and Kisame sitting in the two seats in front of them and Hidan sitting next to Kakuzu.

Deidara glared at Tobi, putting his hands down and leaning his head back against the headrest.

"What if I said I was claustrophobic un?" Deidara asked, closing his eyes. He could feel the warmth emitting form Sasori and Tobi on either side of him and the back of the seat behind him, leaving him feeling very closed in.

"Then I would say puke on Tobi." Sasori said. Deidara didn't open his eyes. "Brat?" Sasori asked. Deidara didn't move. "Deidara?" Sasori asked, feeling slightly worried.

Deidara couldn't help but let a small smile escape his lips at his accomplishment. He opened his eyes. "Gotcha un." Deidara said laughing.

Sasori eyes narrowed.

"So you would actually care if I didn't feel good un!" Deidara said, calming down.

"Shut up brat." Sasori ordered.

"I love you too un." Deidara said, jokingly, laying his head on Sasori's shoulder.

"So what did you do with Fred?" Itachi asked a slightly nervous looking Kisame. Fred was Kisame's fish, who was incredibly pampered.

"I took him to Konan so she would take care of him." Kisame answered, not looking at Itachi.

"You're lying." Itachi accused. Kisame still didn't look at the Uchiha.

"No. I'm not."

"Kisame…" Itachi said, his voice trailing off.

"Alright! I brought him with me. Don't tell anyone though. They wouldn't really like it if they knew I had brought Fred-kun along…" Kisame said in a whisper.

"Fred-kun? Haven't heard that before…" Itachi said, slightly jealous. He sometimes thought that Kisame loved the fish more than his actual boyfriend.

Kisame slightly blushed, looking out the window again. "I only thought of it last night." Kisame admitted. Itachi felt a bit better. "Wait a second! What did you do with Bob!?" Kisame asked, thinking of Itachi's pet turtle.

Itachi stared Kisame directly in the eye. "I really did leave him with Konan." Itachi answered. He said it with such authority that you couldn't doubt him.

"Sure you did…" Kisame said slowly. Itachi glared at him and Kisame let out a nervous laugh and looking towards Kakuzu. "Hey! Kakuzu! How long until we get there?" Kisame asked, trying to avoid Itachi.

"About thirty minutes. Unless… Crap." Kakuzu said. The car sputtered and Kakuzu lead it over to the side of the road. The car barely got off the road before it stopped.

"What just happened un?" Deidara asked, wondering why they had stopped. He was in the middle of playing Go Fish with Tobi and so far, Deidara was winning.

"We ran out of gas." Kakuzu answered. "Hey Hidan. Go get us gas." Kakuzu ordered. Hidan glared at him.

"Why the fuck should I go get the fucking gas?" Hidan asked sharply, not moving.

"Cause I still have those pictures." Kakuzu threatened.

"Fine. I'll get the fucking gas." Hidan said, getting out of the car. "But you'll regret making me do this later."

"So…" Kisame said, breaking the awkward silence. "What now?"

"We wait." Kakuzu answered. Everyone sighed and sat there, not saying anything.

After about a minute, Sasori spoke up. "Where is that good for nothing Jashinist? I'm tired of sitting here waiting." He complained.

"Calm down Danna. You can wait longer than a minute un." Deidara said, going back to the card game.

"Hey Kuzu-san? Why didn't we go somewhere like Disney World or something?" Tobi asked without looking up from his cards.

"Because Disney World costs a lot of money and I even splurged to get you into Busch Gardens. Why did you think that Pein, Konan, and Zetsu aren't coming?" Kakuzu answered.

"Cause Pein and Konan are busy doing certain 'things' and Zetsu would eat everyone in sight un." Deidara answered for Tobi.

"That… And I wouldn't let them come." Kakuzu answered.

"You told leader-sama he couldn't come? Since when could you tell him what to do?" Sasori asked.

"That's none of your business." Kakuzu answered. Deidara's answer had been correct, but Kakuzu didn't want to contradict himself and look like an idiot, so he just lied.

"Hey Itachi…" Kisame said, looking at the now sleeping Itachi. "Dude, get up. I'll poke you!" Kisame threatened. Itachi didn't move. Kisame poked him lightly on the arm. Itachi still didn't move.

"HEY! YOU ASS-HOLES! OPEN THE FUCKING CAR!" Hidan yelled from outside the car. Itachi opened his eyes and looked at Hidan.

"I was sleeping." Itachi said, rolling his window down slightly so Hidan could hear him. Hidan opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Kakuzu.

"Shut up and go fill the tank." Kakuzu ordered through another slightly cracked window.

"Kuzu! We don't do that 'til night!" Hidan objected. Everyone in the car laughed except for Kakuzu who was banging his head against the dashboard.

Hidan walked around to the other side of the car and filled the gas tank with the gas he had just bought with Kakuzu's credit card. Kakuzu didn't know that Hidan had stolen it, and it wasn't like Hidan was going to tell him.

Kakuzu started the car and started to drive away before Hidan even got back in.

"What the Fuck?!" Hidan asked, running after the car and jumping on top of it before it made it too far. He jumped back into the car through the skylight and back into the seat. "What was that for?!" Hidan asked. Kakuzu smirked and continued driving. Hidan pouted and decided to just look out the window.

"I win sempai! I win!" Tobi squealed. Deidara sighed and threw his cards down on top of the deck.

"So what un?" Deidara asked.

"Are you being a sore loser Dei?" Sasori asked, tilting his head.

"Shut up un." Deidara said, sliding down in his seat as far as he could go while keeping his seatbelt on.

"Sempai! We made a bet!" Tobi reminded Deidara.

"We did un?" Deidara asked, looking out the front of the car.

"Yeah! You said you would ride the carousel with me!" Tobi said.

"I don't remember un." Deidara said.

"But you promised…" Tobi said, lip quivering.

"Fine un! I'll ride the stupid merry-go-round." Deidara muttered.

"That'll be interesting… Remind me to take pictures." Sasori said, smirking.

"Donna!" Deidara whined, looking up at Sasori.

"I love you Dei." Sasori said.

"Yeah right un." Deidara muttered.

The rest of the car ride went as follows: Deidara playing Tobi in Go Fish again (this time without any bets), Sasori helping Kakuzu with directions, Itachi falling asleep again, Kisame freaking out over his fish, and Hidan flicking random strangers in nearby cars off.

By the time Busch Gardens came into view, Deidara had lost five more games of Go Fish, Sasori had gotten them lost at least three times, Hidan had managed to piss a lot of people off, Itachi was still asleep, and Kisame was close to hyperventilating.

"We're here."

A/N: Yay! Thanks to all who have made it so far! So please review and tell me what you think! The whole Kisame poking Itachi thing is kinda like an inside joke that just goes "Hehe. I'm gonna poke you!" If you think I'm leaning too much to one character or one couple, please let me know and I'll try and fix it! Love ya!

Btw: I know that there is a story about Bob. It was written by one of my very close friends and so she knows Bob just as well as I do. I'll post the link to that story in my profile if you care to read it. So back to the point. I own Bob. I am not stealing the character. I came up with him for my Itachi-fangirl of a friend during English class. My friend just borrowed him.


	2. Entrance

**A/N: …I can't believe I'm writing this. I know that a lot of people who had originally subscribed to this probably don't even remember what it was about and I apologize. So here is this chapter and I will try to get the next one out to you before I am forced to start school again.**

"We're here."

"Yay un?" Deidara said skeptically, in a bad mood since he lost the card game.

"YAY!" Tobi said, far more energetically than Deidara. "Tobi wants to go ride the rides now!"

Itachi silently got out of the car and started walking away, towards where he believed the park was. "Uh, Tachi?!" Kisame called after his boyfriend. Itachi turned around and glared at the blue man. "You know… The park is that way…" He said, pointing in the opposite direction Itachi was going. "You know, the way the other people are walking?"

"I had to go to the bathroom." Itachi said, walking back to where everyone was slowly leaking out of the car.

"The bathrooms are-" Kisame stopped his sentence when Itachi's glare pierced his skull. "Forget it." He muttered.

"Good choice." Itachi said, walking the way everyone else was.

"I swear. He needs to get glasses." Kisame said when Itachi was out of earshot. "Where's Sasori?" He asked after looking around him and seeing everyone but the redhead and the Uchiha (but we all know where he went)

"He got stuck on the seat un. The seatbelt wouldn't come undone." Deidara explained, sitting down on the warm pavement.

"And you aren't helping him?" Kisame asked.

"Nope un." Deidara answered.

"What did the puppet do to piss you off this time Dei?" Hidan asked.

Deidara blinked at Hidan. "He had to do something un?"

Hidan rolled his eyes. "It would help."

"Danna, you alive un?" Deidara finally called after a few moments of seconds of silence. There was no answer until said Danna tumbled out of the car and landed face first on the pavement right in front of the blonde bomber.

"No thanks to you brat." He muttered, standing up.

Deidara patted Sasori on the head before grabbing the red-head's hand and pulling himself up from the ground. "Let's go un!" Deidara said, slightly happier.

"Brat. Let go." Sasori ordered, talking about their hands.

Deidara looked at Sasori with a hurt expression. "Why un?!"

"We're in public."

"So un?!"

"Dei."

"'Sori un."

"Fine." Sasori finally gave in.

"So when are you fuckers getting married?" Hidan asked crudely.

"I'd punch you un." Deidara threatened.

"Yet you won't." Kakuzu finally said, stepping into the conversation.

"So you stand up for your sex toy un." Deidara observed.

"Like you're much better off." Hidan said.

"Hey!" Sasori said, butting in as well.

"Uh, guys. We might wanna catch up with 'Tachi. He might try and enter the park without a pass or something…" Kisame said as a way to escape the oncoming fight.

"We're S-ranked criminals and you're worried about him _sneaking into a theme park_?" Kakuzu asked.

"Well…" Kisame paused for a minute. "Yeah. I am." He said, not thinking of anything else to say.

"Uh… what happened to hyper-bomb un?" Deidara asked.

"Why do you care?" Sasori asked, slightly jealous.

"I figured leader-sama would be mad if we left him un. That's all." Deidara said, shrugging.

"He'll find us sooner or later. Probably asking for ice cream or something." Kakuzu said.

"Oh! Tobi likes ice-cream!"Tobi said from the roof of the car.

"What the hell are you doing up there?!" Hidan asked when he was standing upright again.

"It has a better view." Tobi said, jumping back down. "Can we go in now!?"

Everyone sighed and nodded, walking towards the gate.

"I suggested leaving the parking lot a long time ago un…" Deidara said, pouting. Sasori kissed him one the check quickly in comfort, causing the blonde's face to turn as red as a tomato.

"Let's rock this bitch!" Hidan said, almost running up to the ticket acceptor thing. Then he saw the line. "Fuck."

"Not now Hi." Kakuzu said as retaliation for Hidan's comment during their fight to go get gas. Hidan hit the money-bags in the back of the head before requesting the tickets, give or take a few curse words.

"Everyone take one." Kakuzu ordered in a bored tone as he fanned out the beloved tickets. They were quickly gone from his hands, save three. One for himself and two for the fish/Uchiha couple that had long since disappeared.

"Back." Kisame announced, suddenly appearing with Itachi.

"Did you try sneaking in Itachi un?" Deidara asked, smirking.

"Why would I do that?" Itachi asked, snatching one of the remaining tickets from the hands of Kakuzu. Kisame grabbed the left over and Kakuzu held onto his.

"Let's just go in." Kisame suggested before any more fights could erupt.

"Hurry up!" Tobi yelled as he jumped up and down beyond the gate that separated the people who haven't proven that they had tickets and those who had.

Deidara tugged on Sasori's hand, dragging him forward and quickly scanned the ticket and scanning his right index finger and waiting just long enough for Sasori could do the same.

The blonde was slightly shaking by the time everyone else made it through the procedures.

"Let's just go ride something un!" Deidara said.

"Not yet. We're figuring out what we're doing for the day first and how much money each of us can spend." Kakuzu said, unfolding a map of the park and flipping through the wad of money he held.

Deidara grabbed a third of the cash and ran off, tugging a rather flustered looking Sasori behind him. "Smell you later un!" He called over his shoulder.

"Make sure you come back to ride the carousel with me sempai!" Tobi called waving.

The other groups then split into their own couples of Itachi and Kisame and Hidan and Kakuzu. Tobi stood there and tried to figure out which of the small groups to go with. By the time he had reached a decision though, the others had already disappeared.

**A/N: Yay! It's a chapter! Aren't you proud of me? So now they are at the park and all ready to get started, so the following chapters will be the adventures of the groups probably. That's subject to change however… So please review and tell me how I did or complain about how long it took…**


End file.
